Ode to the glutes

Recently I attended a series of workshops presented by Exercise Etc., in order to earn continuing education credits for my ACSM certification. One of the presentations I attended had to do with hip and core training, including common dysfunctions related to hip and core instability, and corrective exercises to improve function. Blah, blah blah, blah blah, blah, blah. Have you fallen asleep yet? Let me put it to you another way:

you need to work the booty!

Photo: celebrityplasticsurgery.us

Oh gluteus maximus, and medius too,

I don’t thank you enough for all that you do

You help me extend when I want to wind up

and give someone else a swift kick in the butt

You stand behind me wherever I go

and make my cheeks move to and fro

You push me uphill and support me down

You assist my hip when it circles around

You propel me forward and give me speed

You help me hover when I need to pee

Oh gluteus muscles, let me give you your due . . .

hmmmmmm, due, due. What rhymes with due?

All joking aside, the glutes are extremely important to core stability, and the underdevelopment of these muscles can contribute to to a host of problems, including back, knee and hip pain. This illustration shows the right hip and glutes, just in case you need a visual aid more detailed than the lovely Kim K.

Photo: lucy.stanford.edu

So how do you know if your tushie needs some toning? I think it’s safe to say that if your backside looks like this,

Photo: dragonflyswimmer.com

you should try a few of the moves below, which focus on both the glute max and med, (as well as quads, hamstrings and core). Try adding one or more into your current workout.

single leg squat

Photo: fitstream.com


Photo: shapingconcepts.com

lateral lunges

Photo: ttfatloss.com

walking hip abduction

Photo: mikereinold.com

I hope you learned a little something about the biggest muscle in your body. I’m sure I’ve given you a lot to think about, but I’d like to leave you with one bootylicious question: is Kim Kardashian’s butt for real? I mean c’mon, you could rest a plate on that thing. Go ahead, scroll on up for one last look!


2 thoughts on “Ode to the glutes

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